The closer I am in the end of my contract, the more lazier I become. Yes, I will surely miss everyone but lately, work has been really difficult for me. I can’t wait for this to end though I’m not yet sure what I’m going to do next since I’ll be jobless again.
Filed sick leave today cos I feel so stressed. I know work is supposed to be that way but since I’m about to end, it feels like I don’t have to give all my best cos i’m weird.
Went on a food trip with two good friends and now I keep on falling asleep while typing this cos I only had a total of almost 6 hours of sleep in two days. Goodbye.
There are times when you badly want to tell someone a secret, just to lessen the burden you’re feeling, but then you can’t..cos it’s a secret. The longer you keep it, the harder it is for you to carry on. You put on a happy face every single time but deep inside, there is something that kills you that you can never ever share to anyone. Everyday you hope and pray that this too shall pass, and everyday you get disappointed. Everyday you carry the same burden hoping you could ask someone for help, someone who would understand the things that you’re going through, but at the end of the day, it’s always you, the only person, the only one who knows about it.
There are some things better left unsaid. But for someone like me who is very much willing to share every bit of my existence to someone, it is a great challenge to keep my mouth shut. It is not something that would hurt anyone and it wouldn’t even change a thing, they wouldn’t even care I guess..but it would really ease the pain I’m feeling somehow. Sometimes I just wish I have someone I can tell anything and then I could just erase that someone after, just so you know your secret is kept hidden forever.
by Chelsea Fagan
1. There are only a certain amount of friends we can really have at any given point, and the rest are going to hover closer to acquaintance-status out of necessity. The people who seem to be surrounded with tons of people at every social event likely don’t have any more true friends than anyone else, they just have more reliable acquaintances.
2. No matter how much time or energy you spend on your appearance, it won’t make you feel any better around the people you feel inferior around for superficial reasons. Even if you are wearing nothing but designer labels and have come straight from the salon, you’ll still feel like a fraud if you were trying to impress them with your clothes in the first place.
3. Your crush doesn’t owe you anything, even if you feel head-over-heels in love with them and are nicer to them than you are to anyone else in your life. If they don’t reciprocate your feelings, that does not make them an asshole, unless they are an asshole about telling you.
4. You are not entitled to be invited to everything, even if you think that you should be. And if you are consistently feeling left out of friends’ events, perhaps you should consider whether or not they are actually friends.
5. Not everything that your friends do without you is intended to be some personal slight; sometimes people just don’t think about inviting everyone when they do things.
6. When someone you love has their heart broken — even if you are siblings or the best of friends — there is literally nothing you can do to make them really feel better, except listening to them when they talk. It’s a pain that everyone has to deal with on their own, and you can’t take it away from them just by sharing your own experiences.
7. Sometimes people are going to be depressed for what appears to be no good reason, and it’s not something they can just exercise their way out of so they can come to the party on Saturday.
8. If you don’t share a sense of humor with someone, it will never work out between the two of you — no matter how sexy they are. (Yes, even if it’s Joseph Gordon-Levitt wearing a grey two-button suit. Though I’m pretty sure he has the perfect sense of humor and would find all of us hilarious.)
9. The values you were taught at home and which you take with you through your life are not necessarily universal ones, and they may even be damaging. But you are the one who has to work through the negative perceptions that your parents imposed on you throughout childhood.
10. You can’t make someone better in bed unless they are actually willing to learn and communicate, even if you get along swimmingly in every other area of the relationship.
11. Just because you have always wanted to do something creative doesn’t mean you’ll ever be really good at it. (She says, dripping tears of frustration over her failed attempt at sketching hands.)
12. Though much of it can be adjusted through diet and exercise, we all have different body types that are destined to look different and require certain things. Some of us were destined to have no curves, others will never get close to a size two regardless of how much healthy lifestyle choices we make.
13. There is no amount of status or money or popularity that you can achieve that will make you inherently better than someone else, even that douchebag you went to high school with.
14. Sometimes the people that your ex left you for were actually much better for them, and they are happier now, and they absolutely don’t regret leaving you to get with them.
15. People are, for your whole life, going to talk shit behind your back at some point. It’s an inescapable fact of life and you know full well that, from time to time, you say things about others that are kind of the opposite of nice. The best solution is to just not think about it, and not try to find out what they said specifically.
16. These aforementioned shit-talkers will occasionally include your friends, but that’s only human, and sometimes we act like crappy people who deserve to get a little bit of shit talked behind our backs.
17. You are actually much better-looking than you give yourself credit for, but it’s actually a positive thing that you don’t go through life relying on your looks, as we don’t know what it means to be “ruined by your beauty” until you meet someone who has been. And then we know, all too well.
18. Alcohol is an unnecessary expense most of the time.
19. You’re going to lose closeness with the vast majority of people you once really cared about, even with social media and a million ways to stay in touch, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just a normal, healthy emotional molting process that is going to take place regardless of how many times you like their status updates.
Breakfast at KFC before going home with a friend and sharing funny experiences. Having only one schedule the same with P this week. Hearing positive feedback when you least expect it. Broken promises. Knowing P still wears the anklet I gave him 2 years ago. *.* Unreadable penmanship.Having that ‘click’ feeling with someone you just met. It takes one to know one. Learning new things just like monitoring CVP hooray! Forgetting my wallet at home. Patient who proudly tells the success of her children. Getting paranoid about small things. Random people who smiles and greet you good morning. That awkward moment lines where nothing is awkward at all. Day off.
Went out last night with friends and sadly, the guy I used to like didn’t felt good so he puke and felt shit the whole night. So my friends told me to comfort him..what am I? his yaya? I felt bad for enjoying the night and not minding him but I know he don’t want me to care anyway because some things are like that. Things are different now. We stayed at my friends house after til sunrise. We have different routes on our way home so he walked me to the stop and it was so awkward walking with him alone. uggh. We had an arm length distance and awkward silence.
I wish things will go back to the way they were. We were so close back then, we would spend time together without any awkward feeling. Everything was ok til he thought it was something else like wtf! wtaf! You don’t have to complicate things. You can just leave it the way it is. No one gets hurt, everybody happy. There’s still respect and friendship.
I am once again asked to write an IR but I’m not planning to pass it cos i’m so kewl like that hihi. Well, I think I’m ending before June so why bother? I’m just waiting for the memo. It’s not like as if I did a terrible thing ugggh. Having an IR seems like a bad record but its not all the time that you did something wrong. Sometimes it’s a way of defending yourself, a support to someone else fault, or for documentation purposes. As for me, it’s for “documentation” and I’m too lazy to even get the IR paper, how much more to write.. >.< I’m always on night duty usually see my supervisor hihi. Hopefully I’ll be ending with a straight night shift. I am both excited and sad to end my contract. Excited for the freedom but sad for my wallet. :( Pour me opportunities please.
We were supposed to eat at Calea but it started raining so we end up going to Miren’s Desserts. Stayed there for almost 2 hours with non-stop talking. Oh how we never ran out of stories to tell.
Then went to SM and found out that the new dept. store opened already. And we felt like somewhere else upon entering cos its huge and obviously, different.